Cracks in the sidewalk
by TBRProductions
Summary: -Akatsukicrack.. Twogirls end up in their bed int the middle of a forest. what will happen when they introduce the Akatsuki to Faygo and Dr,Pepper? Or maybe Try Zetsu Boogers.. grody M for language


**A/N: so it's Me, Dei-Chan. I'm really bored, and I and Bunny just decided to make up a one-shot crack fic including us (Dei and Killah) and the Akatsuki…**

**If you guys wanna know, we'll be updating everything else shortly :D**

**So, it starts off, December 5, 2011… two teenage girls (Being 16 and 19) are trying to fall asleep at 1:30 in the morning.**

**Disclaimer: We don't own Naruto (sigh) we just own Killah and Tee. (WHOO!) Who are Akatsuki otakus form our world… so, if you wanna have a one-shot crack fic just lemme know!**

**On whiff the storehh!**

"Dude, what would happen if all of a sudden, a portal-"

A portal appeared.

"HOLY FUCK! KILLAH! ITS A PORTAL!" Tee screamed, clutching onto her 19 year old sister tightly, trying to stay under the warmth of the blanket.

"FUCKKKKKK!"

All of a sudden, the two girls were laying in their Queen sized bed, bottles of strawberry Kiwi Faygo, and , various bags of potato chips, and a plate of salad around them. "Jackpot." Tee mumbled, snatching the , and handing Killah the Faygo.

"What the flap?" Killah asked, sounding like LSP from Adventure time..

"What the fluff?" Tee asked, in the same tone.

"WHAT THE HELL? WHY IS THERE A FUCKING BED ON TOP OF ME? I WAS FUCKING WALKING THROUGH THE FOREST WHEN A FUCKING BED FELL OUT OF THE SKY AN-Oh.. There's chicks on the bed." Itachi said, pulling himself out from under the bed with a slight POP.

"Pop goes the weasel..." tee hummed to herself, while Killah stared into gorgeous coal eyes.

"Whers Fishy-Kun?"

"Kisame? He'll be here in a minu-WAIT A MINUTE! HOW DO YOU KNOW KISAME?"

"Uh..." Deciding not to tell about the portal, the sisters scratched their heads.."Bingo Book!" I mean.. We know you from the Bingo Book."

"Oh.." In a few seconds, Kisame was standing behind Itachi.

Soon enough, Tee was napping on the bed, curled around her .

She was wearing black shorts, stopping at her mid thigh. she had an bandage around her left knee, disappearing into the shorts. she had a Black and red tank, and white bandages under that. Tee had also had on some red and black kitty slippers. Killah had pulled her little sister's hair up into a spiky bun and push drum sticks through to hold it.. Her hair was similar except she had mahogany chopsticks in her hair, and instead of mid-thigh shorts, she was wearing black basketball shorts, and her shirt was a white spaghetti strap, then was covered by a ripped up red and black tee.

When she awoke again, she was greeted by several pairs of eyes staring at her strangely.

"What the fuck do you ant, fucking pansies?"

"I want money." kakuzu growled.

"I want-"

"Hello there..." Killah slid over to Deidara, and tarted running her hand through his blonde locks.

"Uh, Hi?"

"Whats up?"

"Uh.. Nothing much?"

"UGH! YOUR A DUDE?"

" Yeah? So,Hm?"

"I thought you were a chick!"

"No.. Ima dude."

"Are you sure?"

"KILLAH! STOP HARASSING DEI-KUN!"

"BUT ITS FUN!"

"TOO FUCKING BAD!"

"SHUT THE HELL UP!"

Randomly Pein got a can of pringle thrown at his head.

"Pein.. I am your father.."

"No your not. My fathers dead!"

"No! LEMME FINISH! Pein.. I am your father.. Step father!" Killah said, imitating Darth Vader.

"NOOOOOOO!"

"NOW GO TO KONAN'S ROOM!"

"What?"

"We all know what happens in there anyways Pein- Or should I say.. Nagato?"

"Ermmm... I don't know what your talking about."

"Sure you don't.."

"PeiKo!"Tee sqeauled.

"KisaIta!"Added Killah.

"Sasodei!" gushed Tee

"MadaIta!"Killah said

"HidKaku!"Tee giggled.

"SasoDeiIta!"The chorused.

"What? You just said the fucking beginning of our names for fucks sake!"

The girls explained the concepts of Yaoi and Yuri to the men.

"FUCKING SICK!"

"Give me $50."

"Fuck NO!"Tee yelled.

"B-B-But-"

"YOU GIVE **ME **$50!"

Kakuzu started counting out money.

"ITS ONLY $49.99!"

"ITS MY LAST PENNY!" kakuzu wailed.

Tee glared, the ripped off Kakuzu's tentacle. "Now, bitch."

"I-"

she grabbed zetsu by the hair, the shoved the tentacle up his left nostril, the pulled it out and there was a giant purple looking blob, that seemed to have what looked like a fetus inside of it.

"Zetsu, be a darling, and open your mouth." Zetsu hesitantly opened up.

she shoved the tentacle into his mouth, and made him eat the booger.

Then, reapeating ht eprocess, she shoved the booger infected tentacle ion Kakuze mouth.

"IT TASTES LIKE FUCKING-"

"Aw shit.."

"RAINBOWS! I COULD SELL THIS SHIT!"

He then proceeded to chase Zetsu, pulling out 'Kuzu's magical goo-glob'

Meanwhile, Itachi and Killah were into an intense game of rock paper scissor.

Tee was braiding deidara's hair.

"..Then, madara was lik-"

"Who's Madara?"Tobi asked, innocently.

"Give uo the act, crazy bitch. We all know already."

"Know what?"

"That TOBI IS FUCKING MADAR UCHIHA!"

"Nuh-UH!"

"UH-HUH!"

"TAKE..OFF..THE...MASK!"

Killah ripped off the mask. Then put it on. "Killah is a good boy! Killah is a good boy!"

She started doing random dance moves, and soon, Tee Joined her.

Tee yelled, "YO DJ!" then pointed at Konan.

"I am DJ?"

"GIMME A BEAT!"

"I HAVE YAM?"

Then she started playing Rapper's Delight.

Hidan and Tee started having a break dance competition.

Of course, Tee won.

"IN YO FACE BITCH!"

"I will drown you!" Hidan started dancing again and the fell over, and passed out. you could hear a loud snore eminating from him.

He soon pissed himself, and Tee threw a dollar at him. She sat on his head and started chatting with Sasori.

"Hey, Its that a hot dog in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"

"Tee, That was lame!"

"I narr!"

Sasori got up, and started humping a tree.

"That okay.. shhh.. it'll hurt at first. OHHHHH!" he started talking to it.

"Youre fucking weird."

Then a wierd seal looking thing fell from the sky.

"Its a leopluradon! A magical leopluradon!"

"WTF?"

Then, a sickly sweet aroma filled the air, accompanied by a loud ripping sound.

"It fucking farted."

Then they all passed out, and woke up in a field.

"ADVENTURE TIME!" Tee sqealed

"Adventure time.. c'mon grab your friends. " Tee and Killah started singing the theme song.

Soon, they were joined by Pein and Itachi.

"How do you guys know the Adventure time theme song?" Killah raised and eyebrow.

"I'm using Mangekyo.. copying you."Itachi replied.

"I'm uh.. Using the rinnegan to copy it too."

"Rinnegan can't do that idiot!"

"HOW WOULD YOU KNOW?"

"Seen Naruto the anime full season (including shippuden) at least 15 times.. and weve read the manga."

"Oh.."

"YOU NEVER ANSWER OUR QUESTION!"

"Google?"

"Not existing here."

"Fuck."

"WHO ARE THESE EVIL BEINGS?" Finn yelled, jumping at Tee. She bitchslapped him.

"Ow. What the flab man?"

"Howdy y'all." Jake said, ina country accent.

"DUDE! I THOUGHT YOU WERE PLAYED BY A BLACK GUY!"

"On set. They have him play my voice while were filming. But whenever else, its me."

"Oh.. Does the guy live in a base ment?"

"Naw. I do. my momma's to be exact."

"Oh. MY/ GOd. Its Marciline! the Vampire Queen! ILY MARCI!"

"SSsssss!" The gang woke up, and Orochimaru was sitting on top of Tee.

"DON'T TONGUE RAPE ME!"

"What?"

"GET THE FUCK AWAY. AND OMG YOU EMO PRICK. DONT BE A DOUCHE!" Killah spat at Sasuke.

The two continued to chop up the evil guys and fry them.

"Mmmm.. Snake skin soup.." Tee was sitting on Hidan's head again.

"Hidan, you best hold your breath, cause if that bitch farts, lemme tell you, it DONT smell like rainbows and butterflies."

"Fuck no!"

"Get up or you'll die."

"I cant die."

"I knew that. I was just.. chiecking to see if you were paying attention."

"So... Whats up?"

"Nothing..."

Then Tobi kicked Tee in the face, and she woke up, and realized that it was all a dream.

**A/N: Yeah.. Full of crack. Wellpp review or PM yo!**


End file.
